Manifesting your dreams:
8 years in hospitals, I had plenty of time to myself to dream. I dreamt what I wanted my life to look like if it could be perfect. I’d close my eyes full of tears imagining what a life would be like if I didn’t have to worry about taking medicine, visiting doctors, pharmacy’s and getting blood draws every day. Each time a new doctor would visit me, I’d retell the story of how I ended up so ill. I was depressed with how depressing my life continued to be. I cried myself to sleep more times than I laughed in a single week. I danced with the visions of freedom in my mind as they were my only place of liberation and comfort.
My teen years were painful. When other kids were going to prom, I was taking pills that crippled my body. When college time came, I hadn’t even finished 10th grade. A GED for me was a synonym for ‘Getting Extremely Dizzy.’
This is not a story about how difficult my life was, this is a story about how anyone can change their life if they dream. Martin Luther King Jr. had one of the most profound and memorable quotes of all time “I have a dream,” and with it the world has changed. I had a dream too, a seemingly insignificant, lost soul, outcast of society, research study and just another one of this country’s “Mentally Ill.” My dream hasn’t yet changed the world as significantly as Dr. King’s but it will. I know it will because I’m already living it.
I was constantly reassured by doctors how sick I was. 15 different medications a day kept me quite confident of their assumption. In 2005 I had a Near Death Experience; it changed my world. I’ve not taken prescription medication since.
My dreams of a “normal” life were inside me. I used to envision people coming to me for counsel, asking for my opinion, wanting to hear what I had to say. I dreamt of driving my own car, having my own office, teaching and being able to help others. I prayed for peace inside my body and mind. I asked God to spare me. I begged on my knees that something in the Universe would somehow get me out of the hell I was existing in. I read my bible every single day, it was the only book I’d ever owned. I felt like I was being punished for something I had done terribly wrong. The only thing I was guilty of was never dreaming in the first place.
I used to look down from my hospital room and see the people walking outside below. I remember them looking like ants. They were all living their beautiful mundane lives, taking care of their family, going to and from work. I imagined my perfect dream of what my life would look like if I did that. Would my life look any different or would I meld into the crowd of ants? I imagined wellness and perfect health in my body. I toyed with concepts and ideals about treating the cause of illness instead of only the symptoms.
After my Near Death Experience, I was healed. I started to watch my life shift around me. More and more the actualization of what I had been dreaming years before started to manifest in my reality.
I look at my life now, only 5 years later. I am teaching, people seek out my counsel and opinion. I have my own car, I have a huge office of my very own, I have inner peace in my body and mind. God spared me. I live my dream, I flourish.
So, how did this happen? It happened because I learned how to love and change the energy of my situation. I decided I was done suffering. I decided it was much easier to enjoy my situation (as sad and hopeless as it seemed,) I started to bless everyone I’d meet. I blessed my doctors, the nurses, the hospitals, everyone in my life who kept telling me how sick I was. I blessed my pills, I blessed my food, I smiled instead of choosing to frown. I laughed out loud (and since everyone thought I was crazy already, it sure didn’t hurt!) I choose to make the best of everything I experienced. Even when everyone else was down, I’d still be laughing. To this day, I choose joy, it is a conscious decision.
Life I’ve learned, is amazing. No circumstance or matter is ever solid. Our perception molds our reality. Our inner-self decides what our outer-self will experience.
I wanted to share this story with you as many of you see me here but don’t know me. This is only a tiny portion of what has helped shape the “me” you know. The only point of this message is to bring hope if you are struggling, provide a sense of relief that your dreams are just as valid and valuable as anyone else.
Truly, if I can go from the place I was, to a place now where I am able to uplift, inspire, and tell it like it is; anyone can. YOU CAN TOO. I “tell it like it is” because this lifetime is too short to waste by dwelling in a place of suffering if you don’t have to. I am blunt and sometimes even brutal. I believe total honesty and a good,swift kick in the pants is something often necessary for us to wake up to the realization that what we’ve been doing is just not working. I am here to deliver wake-up calls. Tough love is sometimes what is needed to help get us on track with actualizing our desires. If you need help with this...I’m always around.
You are so incredibly loved, more than you may ever know. I am thankful for you in my world, it wouldn’t be the same without you.
In greatness and constant light,
Rev. Raea Sunshine